Wednesday, February 25, 2009

This Idol Season Sucks

American Idol

- For the first girl, singing Sara Bareilles: Bad performance. It's definitely a wrong song choice.

Matt Giraud - Coldplay, Viva La Vida? Are you serious? People need to stop trying to change up/ remix songs into their own style. This song sounds like shit in his bluesy voice. His dancing and herky jerky moves made it even worse. Doing all of this is the kiss of death, so people should stick to their strengths.

Jeanine Vailes - Singing This Love, which is my all-time favorite song to sing in Karaoke, but I don't know if I like it when a girl sings it. And now she's singing it. Not as bad as the first two, but nothing can ever be worse than that Viva La Vida travesty that happened before the commercial break. She has nice "runs" during the bridge part of the song so it sort of makes this song not worse than mediocre. It was an okay performance, not too bad, but still not good.

All these creepy leg comments make this show American Perv. Now they talk about her lips. GD this show is jumping the shark. I told you all-- this Top 36 format is killing this show and not in the "you slayed it by Randy twisted" way.

Amateur hour.

Norman is next, but I'm beyond tired of his act. He was funny once and another time when he sat on the piano for his solo in Hollywood, but now I cannot see him getting anywhere near the top 12. So let me see after the break.

Wow. Eliza Dushku is tre hot in this Hulu commercial.

Okay, kill me now. I'm actually liking this Norman Gentle performance. It's funny. But it will get tired. Whoa how did they let this guy get into the top 36. But by far, the best performance of the night. I'll take this weird act over the crap that I just saw in the past three. At least he stuck to his guns, which is more than I can say for the other contestants who try to pander or get votes by singing songs that they think people want to hear.

Allison Iraheta - What is she doing? She's acting all weird in her pre-interview. She's doing this thing with her voice and distortions with her face. It's like she's just joking around and confused as hell. She's singing a Heart song. She's way too young for me to comment on her looks, but she's a cutie and so far her performance is sick. She's so young yet she's giving so much emotion in this performance which is what all Heart songs have. Not as good as last season's Carly Smithson, but with this horrible crop of singers, Allison is pretty good. This better get some better than good reviews. Good. Randy agrees. I agree with K(C)ara's statement about her stage fright. Iraheta is good. I can see her getting through unless America pulls an Anoop.

Kris Allen - OMG. Michael Jackon - Man in the Mirror. Let's see if this is the train wreck I predict. I take it back. I'm actually this performance. I guess it's all about the control and confidence when you sing this song because it's a good song. And this dude has a good voice. Not bad. I liked it. Kara diagrees with me, however. Damn, Paula agrees with me. AND SIMON too. But now I have to throw up because Paula and Simon kiss. I agree with Randy-- Kris sang without a guitar and was still decent so we'll see how good he is when he's comfortable with a guitar.

It seems like this year, the magic age is twenty-three. Practically everyone is twenty-three! I'm so sad that I'm a year older than these cats.

Megan - Singing Girl Put Your Records On. I'm just distracted by her tats, not her boobs, her tatoos. She pronounces "down" on "let your hair down" all weird like "dun" instead of dOWn. And she does this weird body twisting thing like a four year-old. I guess it's so she can end notes on time or add vibratos, but seriously, does she have to use her whole body and swing her arms back and forth. I didn't really like the performance because the Corinne version is more subtle so I agree with Simon. And hell no to Paula, Megan does not remind me of Nelly Furtado or even Duffy as Randy said. But she is better than the first three horrible performances.

I'm sure American will crap in my face and vote her in. Oh well.

Oh, God, the bald one and that jazz scatt chick are next.

Matt The Welder - Singing that Tonic song. Sounds good so far. He's sticking to his guns but at the same time singing something that's not played-out. But now it feels very karaoke. This whole night is karaoke. I'm tired of this bullshit show.

Jesse - Betty Davis. I don't know this singer or song. But she's not bad. If she gets through, which she should, I hope they don't milk her single-mothered-ness. Randy, even if it's just an okay performance, it's still better than 90% of the other rest tonight. You do the math. I'm tired and bored. Oh my god, she's talking about the drumming in the song and now the judges are clapping and everyone is doing the clap, this show is horrible. I take back what I said about her deserving a spot just a little because though the song was sort of meh, I feel she has potential.

Kai Kalama - Seems to be a favorite of the judges, but I'll be the judge of that. "What becomes of the broken hearted?" He looks doofy. He sings okay. It's probably the song choice. It's very old-fashioned. See, Kara agrees with me. I want to see something just a little more contemporary. Wow. Simon says he would be a good back-up singer. Ouch.

Mishavonna - Drops of Jupiter. Uh, oh. Starts off slow. I like this song so I hope she doesn't frak up this song, but inevitablely the arrangements always make or break the performance. Once again, this performer isn't bad but not yet good. Well, now that the song is crescendoing, it sounds a little better. Overall, meh. Does not blow me away. Wow this episode is horrible. Mother-effer, she's just a baby, 18. I'm not paying attention to the judges right now because talking to my brother about how people look is more interesting. Horrible name.

Of course, as I predicted, they have that Jonas brother wannabe as the show-ender. Do you think this will be the awesome performance of the night, because in all respects this show was the equivalent of a Heroes episode. No one was a standout. Okay now we're back.

Adam Lambert - He looks gay. No problem there except he's not singing well. Wrong song choice because his gyrations and runs are horrible. He sort of saves it in the end, but it's very rock opera-ish for me. Surprise, Paula has a boner for this dude. Was she watching the same thing I was watching. Thank God Simon is bringing it back to earth. I agree 100% with Simon. I feel like, just because it's the last peformance, the judges have to hype it up. So wrong.

And, what the fuck. Randy throws out a bunch of names like that dude in twilight and fall-out boy, which is funny since Edward Cullen is not a singer. I still can't figure out if he's the actor or the character.

Who are my picks? Iraheta has to get in. Then maybe Kris (Man in the Mirror). The third is a toss up but I think Jesse should get in and possibly Adam Lambert as long as he picks a better song and cuts his hair.

Horrible episode. Everyone should be gone.

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