Saturday, February 28, 2009

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon will start hosting Late Night this Monday. I just checked out some of his more recent vlog posts on his site, and wow is he nervous. I feel bad for the guy, because I honestly don't know if Late Night will be good.

He seems to be skewing towards a younger demographic. They're trying to make it more accessible to the "internet generation", which, if you think about it, is stupid, because the people on the internet can find, do, and watch anything online. Why would they have to watch a late night talk show? Isn't Carson Daly suppose to be appealing to the younger crowd? Can't people just watch Attack of the Show instead of this show?

I don't want my talk show like this. I want good sketches and bits. I don't care what Joe-internet thinks about x and y. If I did, I'd just google it. If I'm going to watch prime time talk shows, I want something well written or organically funny, not the latest youtube video that someone tweeted to a host on television.

Just hearing Jimmy Fallon describe how he's still trying to figure out how his internet audience is going to participate live when the show tapes and isn't shown until 12:30 scares me. I hope he pulls it off and it's funny. I don't care about innovation. What's funny is funny. Good writing and improvisation. Yes, improv over innov. This is scary.

I guess all I can hope for is that Jimmy Fallon stays true to himself and he's just not trying to pander to the tech crowd because he thinks he might get points. Hopefully, he is doing this because that's who he is and he wants to make the show like this. Right now, it seems forced. Fallon always seems to want people to like him, like he's nervous, so I don't know how that will translate in the show.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

This Idol Season Sucks

American Idol

- For the first girl, singing Sara Bareilles: Bad performance. It's definitely a wrong song choice.

Matt Giraud - Coldplay, Viva La Vida? Are you serious? People need to stop trying to change up/ remix songs into their own style. This song sounds like shit in his bluesy voice. His dancing and herky jerky moves made it even worse. Doing all of this is the kiss of death, so people should stick to their strengths.

Jeanine Vailes - Singing This Love, which is my all-time favorite song to sing in Karaoke, but I don't know if I like it when a girl sings it. And now she's singing it. Not as bad as the first two, but nothing can ever be worse than that Viva La Vida travesty that happened before the commercial break. She has nice "runs" during the bridge part of the song so it sort of makes this song not worse than mediocre. It was an okay performance, not too bad, but still not good.

All these creepy leg comments make this show American Perv. Now they talk about her lips. GD this show is jumping the shark. I told you all-- this Top 36 format is killing this show and not in the "you slayed it by Randy twisted" way.

Amateur hour.

Norman is next, but I'm beyond tired of his act. He was funny once and another time when he sat on the piano for his solo in Hollywood, but now I cannot see him getting anywhere near the top 12. So let me see after the break.

Wow. Eliza Dushku is tre hot in this Hulu commercial.

Okay, kill me now. I'm actually liking this Norman Gentle performance. It's funny. But it will get tired. Whoa how did they let this guy get into the top 36. But by far, the best performance of the night. I'll take this weird act over the crap that I just saw in the past three. At least he stuck to his guns, which is more than I can say for the other contestants who try to pander or get votes by singing songs that they think people want to hear.

Allison Iraheta - What is she doing? She's acting all weird in her pre-interview. She's doing this thing with her voice and distortions with her face. It's like she's just joking around and confused as hell. She's singing a Heart song. She's way too young for me to comment on her looks, but she's a cutie and so far her performance is sick. She's so young yet she's giving so much emotion in this performance which is what all Heart songs have. Not as good as last season's Carly Smithson, but with this horrible crop of singers, Allison is pretty good. This better get some better than good reviews. Good. Randy agrees. I agree with K(C)ara's statement about her stage fright. Iraheta is good. I can see her getting through unless America pulls an Anoop.

Kris Allen - OMG. Michael Jackon - Man in the Mirror. Let's see if this is the train wreck I predict. I take it back. I'm actually this performance. I guess it's all about the control and confidence when you sing this song because it's a good song. And this dude has a good voice. Not bad. I liked it. Kara diagrees with me, however. Damn, Paula agrees with me. AND SIMON too. But now I have to throw up because Paula and Simon kiss. I agree with Randy-- Kris sang without a guitar and was still decent so we'll see how good he is when he's comfortable with a guitar.

It seems like this year, the magic age is twenty-three. Practically everyone is twenty-three! I'm so sad that I'm a year older than these cats.

Megan - Singing Girl Put Your Records On. I'm just distracted by her tats, not her boobs, her tatoos. She pronounces "down" on "let your hair down" all weird like "dun" instead of dOWn. And she does this weird body twisting thing like a four year-old. I guess it's so she can end notes on time or add vibratos, but seriously, does she have to use her whole body and swing her arms back and forth. I didn't really like the performance because the Corinne version is more subtle so I agree with Simon. And hell no to Paula, Megan does not remind me of Nelly Furtado or even Duffy as Randy said. But she is better than the first three horrible performances.

I'm sure American will crap in my face and vote her in. Oh well.

Oh, God, the bald one and that jazz scatt chick are next.

Matt The Welder - Singing that Tonic song. Sounds good so far. He's sticking to his guns but at the same time singing something that's not played-out. But now it feels very karaoke. This whole night is karaoke. I'm tired of this bullshit show.

Jesse - Betty Davis. I don't know this singer or song. But she's not bad. If she gets through, which she should, I hope they don't milk her single-mothered-ness. Randy, even if it's just an okay performance, it's still better than 90% of the other rest tonight. You do the math. I'm tired and bored. Oh my god, she's talking about the drumming in the song and now the judges are clapping and everyone is doing the clap, this show is horrible. I take back what I said about her deserving a spot just a little because though the song was sort of meh, I feel she has potential.

Kai Kalama - Seems to be a favorite of the judges, but I'll be the judge of that. "What becomes of the broken hearted?" He looks doofy. He sings okay. It's probably the song choice. It's very old-fashioned. See, Kara agrees with me. I want to see something just a little more contemporary. Wow. Simon says he would be a good back-up singer. Ouch.

Mishavonna - Drops of Jupiter. Uh, oh. Starts off slow. I like this song so I hope she doesn't frak up this song, but inevitablely the arrangements always make or break the performance. Once again, this performer isn't bad but not yet good. Well, now that the song is crescendoing, it sounds a little better. Overall, meh. Does not blow me away. Wow this episode is horrible. Mother-effer, she's just a baby, 18. I'm not paying attention to the judges right now because talking to my brother about how people look is more interesting. Horrible name.

Of course, as I predicted, they have that Jonas brother wannabe as the show-ender. Do you think this will be the awesome performance of the night, because in all respects this show was the equivalent of a Heroes episode. No one was a standout. Okay now we're back.

Adam Lambert - He looks gay. No problem there except he's not singing well. Wrong song choice because his gyrations and runs are horrible. He sort of saves it in the end, but it's very rock opera-ish for me. Surprise, Paula has a boner for this dude. Was she watching the same thing I was watching. Thank God Simon is bringing it back to earth. I agree 100% with Simon. I feel like, just because it's the last peformance, the judges have to hype it up. So wrong.

And, what the fuck. Randy throws out a bunch of names like that dude in twilight and fall-out boy, which is funny since Edward Cullen is not a singer. I still can't figure out if he's the actor or the character.

Who are my picks? Iraheta has to get in. Then maybe Kris (Man in the Mirror). The third is a toss up but I think Jesse should get in and possibly Adam Lambert as long as he picks a better song and cuts his hair.

Horrible episode. Everyone should be gone.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Christine Lakin

It's so wrong that Christine Lakin hasn't made it big in Hollywood. She's absolutely beautiful and seems like a really down-to-earth girl. In one interview, it was probably done eight years ago or so, she was asked what she does spiritually to stay grounded in Hollywood and she answered that her Christianity helps her. First of all, any actress who can bring up her religion in an interview without breaking a sweat or an ounce of apology gets a sticker in my book. However, since that interview is a bit on the old side, it's possible she could have strayed away. But here's to me hoping that she's still cool.

Plus, she's petite and uber cute. She looks very fit but not in the I'm-a-starving-model or a I-can-beat-you-in-volleyball type of body. Don't let anyone tell you that small girls can't have sick bodies because Lakin looks awesome in her FHM pictorial (Is that un-Christian of her? My body says no). So maybe it's a good thing she hasn't made it big. I don't want her changing or anything.

Even as a naive tween (can a boy be a tween?) in the 90s, I was a huge Step by Step fan and I noticed how well she developed. She played Al, a tomboyish girl but of course biology struck and she became hot. The middle sister on that show was definitely not the prettiest one of the bunch (I'm also a fan of Staci Keenan, or maybe her character, Barky, moreso). God, I miss that show.

Christine, you are definitely hotter than Paris Hilton, but by all accounts that is like saying the sun is hotter than a black hole. Paris Hilton is not human-- she's a weaponized form of ignorance with glitter shoved up her pooper. You were the Hottie and Paris Hilton will always be the Nottie. I'd rather have relations with the guy who played JT in Step by Step than hug Hilton.

Sunday, February 15, 2009


Even though I stopped watching Smallville right about the time Lois Lane stopped stripping (that's not a joke, there really was a stripper episode), I never stopped thinking Kristin Kreuk was one of the most beautiful actresses out there. Yes, hyperbole much, but she was the reason I started watching Smallville and the reason I stayed on for a long time. I definitely was infatuated with her for the longest time.

Now she has this Street Fighter movie coming out, that by all accounts, looks like a stinker. If it weren't for her, there would be no reason to see this flick. Kristin has to do press tours and God bless press tours because then I get to see how lovely she still is. Kristin might even look better than she ever has. There's a sophistication to her look. She still has the most beautiful eyes which I describe as piercing eyes or dagger eyes. I don't know much about fashion but this dress and that feather thing in her maker her look really good.

Finally, I'm talking about a non-blonde. Maybe I should start watching Smallville, again.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Pacitti and the Miley Bitch

I'm Angry.

This season of American Idol has just dropped down a notch. News has just broken out that Joanna Pacitti is out of eligibility. Some sites say it's because she's still under contract, but some commenters have said that it's because Pacitti has close ties to 19 Productions, the American Idol production studio.

Booo! I was rooting for her so much. Sure she's your typical cute girl who can somewhat sing, but would just look at her. She's the cutie of the moment.

She's like the anti Miley Bitch Cyrus. On the one hand Pacitti looks classy while Miley is a whore. She's a whore who does Asian racist face eye slants. I'm not angry about her photos. I'm just angry that she gets so much exposure for all the stupid teenage bitch things she does.

So you can see why I was rooting for Joanna Pacitti.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Idol over Lost just for Tonight

Aw, man. I can't believe I'm going to do this, but I think I might have to pass on Lost tonight and, instead, watch the second hour of American Idol. I know what you're thinking (blasphemer begone!), but it's just that this eppy of Idol is the one where the judges have the contestants sit one-by-one and let them know if they're through to the competition round. Extra special this year is the judges get to be extra mean by letting the ones who get a "no" sing for their survival. Can you imagine how much groveling and tears you'll see from people who are simultaneously doing their best to sing that horrible Dreamgirls song?

Yes, alot of this part of Amerian Idol is manufactured. The whole idea of group singing during Hollywood hell week is horrible, so this part makes up for it. I just hope that my favorites get in. Aside from the Robert Downey, Jr. look-alike, there are only, maybe a handful I have developed strong enough opinions of. I want that Joanne Pacitti gal and that Indian dude to get through (Go, Anoop-dog!). I spelled their names wrong but whatever. I like that Pacitti girl simply because she's got the whole package. She can sing and she's tre-cute. If she gets through, or even not, if we ever see more of her, I think I could develope a huge crush for her. She could be the Ramiele of this season for me, except not Filipino. Anoop, the Indian masters/college student, is just a good singer too. I'm digging him because he breakst the stereotype that singers in America should look and dress a certain way. He looks like a straight-laced college guy/nerd who can sing. Maybe it's just the first impression, but for now, he's got my vote (if I vote). But he's not even that nerdy looking. He doesn't cross into that area of that chikcen little looking guy from the past seasons or that doofy red-head looking crooner dude. I'm not a hater, but those guys were okay. Anoop can sing way better than any of them and he's got the cool smart guy look.

Plus, he's already made up for what Sanjaya did for the South Asian image.

There's also this piano dueler guy. I didn't even know that that was an actual occupation so he gets points automatically for having the word duel in his job description. He's a sick pianist and he can sing. I'm looking forward to his performances.

Of course none of these contestants will matter if that Downey, Jr. guy keeps his A-game going. But at least I'll still heart Pacitti no matter what.