I can't believe this bothers me this much. Just this morning I was going through my typical lazy-ass Saturday routine: procrastinating and being alone. Then BAM! My aunt shows me a picture that shatters all my naïve bubble fantasies.
She was talking about how one of the doctors at work was bugging and begging for her to send him the picture she took of him and his date last night at a Christmas party. (Thank Jeebus that I didn't go with my aunt and uncle last night, since I'd probably be a soaking mess of lard and alcohol. Dammit, stop the fat jokes!) The doctor is a cool guy. He's friendly and there's nothing I hated about him before what I found out this morning. I mean he said hello to me in the hospital when I had my appendix taken out. Sure he was there for work but he didn't have to stop by. I'm easily impressed (by the way, my itunes playlist of Taking Back Sunday is not really helping right now). I now wish he hadn't visited me or that he wasn't so friendly to me because now I can't hate him for going on a date with this girl (more on that). Now all I can be is jelly.
When my aunt tells me this anecdote I don't pay too much mind. I think to myself how cool that the doctor is enjoying life and dating. I tell my aunt that I thought he was married since he mentioned he had to visit family abroad. I assumed wrong (you, ass!). This conversation is happening as I gorge myself in wonderful holiday rolls (I think it was coconut roll). It tasted good going down my throat. It was sweet.
A couple of minutes pass after the comment and then BAM! My aunt shows me the photo of doctor and his date. I didn't ask to see the pic. I was finishing up probably a second slice of that empty calorie dessert (redundant). Oh, why did you have to show me that, Tita. Instead I just smile while inside me something cracks wide open and my mind starts sloshing possible songs that I will be playing in the presently happening pity party of one. (Ghost Man on Third is playing right now and it matches my mood. So sue me for listening to emo music right now, okay? Let me be.)
The picture was of the poor iPhone 3GS quality. Mostly because it was a dark restaurant, face-to-face, we-are-two-happy people type. It's like the doctor doesn't even know what he's doing. His grin is wide like how it was when he asked me in the hospital how I felt.
I'd rather grow another appendix and have it go berserk than have to find out that the girl from work that I was crushing on was dating the nice doctor. Not that I had a chance anyway, but not only am I jelly of the doctor but now I have to pretend to be happy for them both if it ever comes up. Please nobody talk about them dating in front of me. I'll be fine, just don't talk about people being with people or general happiness for a while, like for a period of never.
Whatever. The playlist is almost done and the coconut dessert has settled in my gut (soon to be fat on my belly). I think I better start working-out so that I don't emotionally vomit on my blog every time a girl I like dates another dude.