Don't Read This If You Can't Stand Whiners.

Motherfucker.

I can't believe this bothers me this much. Just this morning I was going through my typical lazy-ass Saturday routine: procrastinating and being alone. Then BAM! My aunt shows me a picture that shatters all my naïve bubble fantasies.

She was talking about how one of the doctors at work was bugging and begging for her to send him the picture she took of him and his date last night at a Christmas party. (Thank Jeebus that I didn't go with my aunt and uncle last night, since I'd probably be a soaking mess of lard and alcohol. Dammit, stop the fat jokes!) The doctor is a cool guy. He's friendly and there's nothing I hated about him before what I found out this morning. I mean he said hello to me in the hospital when I had my appendix taken out. Sure he was there for work but he didn't have to stop by. I'm easily impressed (by the way, my itunes playlist of Taking Back Sunday is not really helping right now). I now wish he hadn't visited me or that he wasn't so friendly to me because now I can't hate him for going on a date with this girl (more on that). Now all I can be is jelly.

When my aunt tells me this anecdote I don't pay too much mind. I think to myself how cool that the doctor is enjoying life and dating. I tell my aunt that I thought he was married since he mentioned he had to visit family abroad. I assumed wrong (you, ass!). This conversation is happening as I gorge myself in wonderful holiday rolls (I think it was coconut roll). It tasted good going down my throat. It was sweet.

A couple of minutes pass after the comment and then BAM! My aunt shows me the photo of doctor and his date. I didn't ask to see the pic. I was finishing up probably a second slice of that empty calorie dessert (redundant). Oh, why did you have to show me that, Tita. Instead I just smile while inside me something cracks wide open and my mind starts sloshing possible songs that I will be playing in the presently happening pity party of one. (Ghost Man on Third is playing right now and it matches my mood. So sue me for listening to emo music right now, okay? Let me be.)

The picture was of the poor iPhone 3GS quality. Mostly because it was a dark restaurant, face-to-face, we-are-two-happy people type. It's like the doctor doesn't even know what he's doing. His grin is wide like how it was when he asked me in the hospital how I felt.

I'd rather grow another appendix and have it go berserk than have to find out that the girl from work that I was crushing on was dating the nice doctor. Not that I had a chance anyway, but not only am I jelly of the doctor but now I have to pretend to be happy for them both if it ever comes up. Please nobody talk about them dating in front of me. I'll be fine, just don't talk about people being with people or general happiness for a while, like for a period of never.

Whatever. The playlist is almost done and the coconut dessert has settled in my gut (soon to be fat on my belly). I think I better start working-out so that I don't emotionally vomit on my blog every time a girl I like dates another dude.

End Rant.

This is a hospital not a Red Lobster.

There was this young latina in the ER today who did not speak any English. The nurse at the front desk asked me to bring food to her but she I was having trouble communicating to her. It's happened before-- people in the hospital think I'm Hispanic which is pretty cool since I've been mistaken for chino all my life. As I brought her some hospital sandwiches I pointed to one and said "tuna" which she responded with "tuna". I guess "tuna" means "tuna" in Spanish. But then I pointed to a turkey sandwich and did not receive a similar response. I quickly considered miming a chicken action but I didn't know if cockle-doodling would translate into Spanish since it was turkey sandwich anyway and not a fucking pollo one.

Her boyfriend (I assume that's who he was) was there for the emergency and I think her mother/aunt/grandmother. It's funny though, the older lady did not look anything like this girl. The girl was petite, or in my case, just my size. When I say petite though, I don't mean in the pixie-ish white girl kind of way. If you saw her in the woods you wouldn't think she was a smurf or elf. This girl had a nice shape to her so I tried my best to communicate to her. Her boyfriend was pushing the tuna back to me and after I said a bunch of things in Spanish I heard her say something like "no comprende". I assume she was saying I don't understand so then I just say to her lucky boyfriend "no te gusta?" Then I hear the word "otro" so I guess he just wanted something other than tuna, or maybe the bastard was just so fucking hungry that he wanted me to go back to the fridge to get another plate of dry-ass hospital bread and meat/fish combo dish.

Whatever.

This girl was cute so I went to get more anyway. I thought my mission was complete while I was chilling at the front desk when she walked over to me. Damn! Was she going to hug me? Kiss me? Thank me for feeding her hungry future ex-boyfriend? Was she going to confess her love for me?

(Dammit, Asukal, this is why you suck: you think one day some girl is going to do this exact same shit. You're the dude. Either you start taking chances with girls--with life--or you'll waste your life waiting for something so stupid that you think is blog-worthy.

She walked up to me and since she knew I didn't speak Spanish (actually, she probably thought I was just a better option than the white folks in the ER) she half-mimed an action that resembled eating out of a bowl. I gave them sandwiches not soup du jour so that did not make too much sense. She also said some Spanish and I heard "abierto". Fuck whatever that means. I used my lighting fast skills to use the Tagalog words for fork and spoon and she smiled and said "si".

We had no forks in the department and I didn't feel like going out of my way for her boyfriend so I just got some plastic spoons from the back. Then she reminded me and said something with the word "tomar". It was okay since she mimed lifting her closed hand up to her mouth and tilting it up-- she wanted somethings to drink. I volunteer in a hospital, by the way, not in Red Lobster (although the RL my family went to for Memorial day had horrible service that included the waiter spilling ice on our table and forgetting that we don't eat with our hands and need utensils to eat our vegetarian calamari). So I give her some juice.

This experience at least showed me that I'd like to one day be with a Latina chick and use my fake Spanish to communicate to her while I hold her close (actually, I always think about holding girls close).

In Defence of Stargate Universe

I'm a first time Stargater so I can't really compare Stargate Universe to any of the other series, but I really do enjoy SGU. I can't understand where all the haterade, justified or not, is coming from.

First off, I like how SGU isn't too funny. People have said that Stargate series are known for their humor, and while I do find SGU funny at times, I don't think it's forced humore. Also, it's not necessary to be constantly light-hearted: these dudes are stuck in motherfucking space, I'm surprised that a character can even crack jokes at a time like that.

That' why I like Eli. Yes, he's the character who everyone, at least first-timers, are supposed to relate to, but that doesn't mean his schtick (?) doesn't work. His comic timing is not forced and it matches his character of being just a guy who wants to be liked by everyone. Some may say he's socially awkward, but I think it's just that everyone on Destiny are too busy being scared or horny to relate to him. SGU needs a character like him and I don't think having everyone else crack jokes would make the show better. Sure, it would be great if some of the characters one in a while made a joke. Like when Col. Young made a joke about how Eli and that other dude both smelled. It was funny and didn't seem out of place. It was a bonding moment for the people who are stuck on such a hard place.

Also, I hate characters like Topher on Dollhouse who are so mean-spirited and is constantly being sarcastic. Thank God that SGU doesn't have a Topher or else I'd never gotten in to any Stargate.

Who else do I like on SGU? Well I'm hoping that they develop Rush and Young more. I can appreciate Young's steel-like demeanor and can tell that there's something simmering beneath. I want to know more through flashbacks or interactions with everyone else. Rush seems to have his emotions out all the time (He's constantly angry and yelling) and I like how he's a morally gray/black character. It's probably blasphemous for me to compare him to Baltar on Battlestar Galactica (also a favorite of mine), but I'm going to do it anyway. I'm hoping to see Rush more vulnerable down the line, but he's definitely hiding some evil plan.

I agree with critics that Ming-Na is being underused, maybe there's a plan for her later on and not just being a cold-hearted lesbian bitch. But that's okay if they maker her that way. She seems to only want to advance in her career and saver her ass. Let's hope they utilize her more.

In general, the women of SGU are not being used well, but I wouldn't go so far as to say the show is sexist. Sex sells, and I understand why a certain big-breasted soldier has been portrayed prominently in the early episodes. She hasn't popped out recently, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I hope to see more of her (literally and whateverily). Does that make me sexist? No, because I do want to also have her relationship with that jackass (I forget the name of the guy in the closet with her) to develop too. Not into some corny love triangle, but I'd enjoy it if it became a love quadrangle (plus Eli!).

The senator's daughter hasn't been used well either. I hate the fact that she's with that jackass and messing with Eli at the same time. Maybe this is just going to be a soap opera thing between them, but I'd really love for Eli to realize she's not worth it if she can't see how cool he is.

Finally, I love the fact that they can't really control Destiny. The planet of the week thing seems cool just as long as it isn't literally a planet every week. Of course, I can't wait for the mysteries of Destiny to be revealed.

Oh yeah, I can't forget, I also like Sgt Greer. Hope they do a better job of developing all these characters.

Heil Crazy

It's one thing to be against the proposed health care reform and have a sound defense against it, and it's another thing to be a mindless, ignorant, hate-filled racist like this woman who yells "Heil Hitler" to an Israeli immigrant. Seriously, lady, you are making your side of the health care argument look bad and I feel bad for sane conservatives and Americans in general. Sure, I understand you're scared that things are changing so fast in a nation that was once just completely composed of white folk-- no, wait, never in the history of the United States of America was it completely a homogeneous nation. We are a stronger people because we are not all the same. Don't be scared just because the people around you look different than yourself. We can't all be hateful bitches, but we'll try not get in your way too much.

Now let's get back to fixing health care.

Cheyscer

I just saw one of the hottest girls I've seen in a while on Wowowee today, which is saying alot since that show is full of gorgeous women (I miss the Philippines). Her name is Cheyscer. She was wearing a sash because she was a winner of some pageant or contest. She was so attractive that Willie allowed her to co-host the main segment, but she was more eye candy than a great interviewer. It made for a great bit though. Willie is hilarious and this is one of the few times I can say that I would also have flirted with her if I were in his position. Screw professionalism.

Super-hot. If she developed a personality then she could be a star in the Philippines. Well, you know what, many of the stars and starlets are very vapid so she could still have a shot. Man was she attractive. I even had a hard time googling her, so I had to google Wowowee since she's new.

I really hope to see more of her on TV and not in the lascivious sort of way. That can be later.

Choose Love.

At the end of last Sunday's mass, the monsignor at my church made a semi-veiled statement about President Obama's commencement speech at Notre Dame University. He did not mention Barack's name, but he did say something about how the Catholic priest who made the Notre Dame school song is probably rolling in his grave.

That's fine to me-- the Catholic church is allowed to protest this visit from a pro-choice politician, and I do not blame them. The University of Notre Dame (I still can't figure out if it's university of OR ND Univeristy) is a Catholic institution and is a private one at that. Both the views of this president and the church are at conflict in the case of unborn babies/women's rights.

But I will say how I don't like it when politics creeps into my weekly mass. Sure, I should have been not paying attention as usual, but the monsignor snuck his message at the end of mass so it was a change in the format. If he mentioned it in passing during his sermon, then I would not be blogging this right now.

Unborn babies/women's rights are a very, very delicate issue that cannot be easily explained, much less solved, by just a single person. But I genuinely agree with both Barack and my monsignor in this case. Long story short, my priest talked about how "God is love" and Obama talked about opening a dialogue. What needs to happen is that both sides need to talk about it but in a less impassioned way so as not to alienate the other side. I'm not saying that both sides should compromise, not immediately at least, but to at least listen.

Yes, I'm biased becasue I go to church on Sundays, but that's it. That's exactly all I do, I go to church once a week. It does not make me anything more or less than a person who goes to church once a week.

But I believe both sides are lacking in love, so I choose love.

Top 3 Major Idol Dump

Been gone for a bit, but let's talk Idol.

The top three performed last night and I think the judges just plain suck at picking songs for the contestants (Apologize, or should I say, 'pologize? really?). Of course Randy picked OneRepublic's Apologize for Kris to sing. Why did he pick it? It's because Randy is constantly trying to prove to us that he's "hip" or "relevant" and is "down" with what's "in". Rather than pick a song that would make Kris sound awesome, Randy chose a song because it's a popular song that was popular two years ago and the whole season he's been saying how the contestants should do OneRepublic. Is that the only band that's current? Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the band. I think they're decent, but that song is so played-out. Proof that the song choice sucked is when Chris performed a single/album worthy rendition of that idiot megalomaniac/idiot Kanye West's song Heartless. I won't hate. That song by Kanye ain't bad, but Kris' performance was killer. It was very catchy and he displayed his vocals too at the same time. He did not flounder around like Randy forced him with 'pologize.

Sorry, Kris, if you're not through to the next round, let's hope it's not because Randy is a 13 year-old me-too wannabe.

Speaking of bad song choices. What the eff was Paula's choice? I never heard of "Dance Little Sister". I'm sure it's a decent song, but it seemed forced on Danny Gokey. And while there's plenty of evidence that Gokey was responsible for adding that scatting/improv-but-not-really part in the middle, I'm pretty sure Paula thought it would be a genious idea to have Gokey go all "skippity bopp bopp bee doo". Seriously, I don't know much about scatting, but it sounded like shite. No, it sounded like shit. I felt bad for the saxophonist who had to mimick the scats that Gokey was choking up (wait, you're seriously going to riff the same thing over and over again? I thought you're supposed to improvise and make it sound good). Maybe Gokey isn't used to the improvised part. Maybe there is a limit to his perceived smug, in-your-face-watch-me-sing style, and it's when he's battling another musical instrument.

But give it up to Danny, I really liked his "You are so beatiful" rendition. He toned it down and controlled his singing. And when it came down to belting it out, that's what he did. I don't know about how genuine the emotion was, but it was close to a sincere performance as I think we'll see from him. In the very least, his performance makes him a contender for the finals. Sans scatting, of course.

Adam Lambert. Let me just say, right out of the bat, while I may have some haterade in my genes, I just don't get Adam. It's not really his ability, because he can sing when he's not screaming like a motherfucking banshee. It's just that. Stop screaming all the damn time, Adam. Not every song requires you to stick your tongue out and blow air at a high pitch. Save it for the epileptic inducing funk performances where it really doesn't matter if you scream because the song and the lights and the whole goddam presentation are already assaulting everyone's senses and better judgement that adding yelling to it really makes not difference.

Yes, I really did enjoy the slow performances he's done, specifically the "Tracks of your tears". And I thought he'd learn to tone it back. But I guess that's part of his personality, and I won't knock him for being himself. He seems also to be very humble. But I wouldn't look forward to his album. I may enjoy a broadway musical with him in it though.

Actually, Simon picked a good song for Adam ("One" by U2), but of course Adam had to "make it his own" but singing the melody different and spackiling some screaming for added effect. Come on. This would have been a good chance for Adam to show the world (or me at least) that he can find a happy middleground between screaming in songs and doing slow ballads. U2's "One" is perfect for that. He could have sang it the way it was meant to be sung (sang?) by starting off soft with emotional and then end it loud with authority and meaning. Good pick, Simon, but Adam had to reaarange it.

That's the other thing. I hate Adam's arrangements of certain songs that do not need to be changed up, like that fuggin' "Ring of Fire" that became some weird middle-eastern gamish that made me feel slightly icky at the end of watching it. We get it, okay, you're musically inclined enough to make songs your own. Just don't start owning every song you sing because sometimes the original owner sang it just fine.

And one more thing. Adam's other slow performance would have been great except that Idol tried to play it off as an original rendition of "Mad World" by Tears for Fears. I've actually heard the slow version somewhere else, like in Donnie Darko. So Adam was not being a musical genious when he slowed down "Mad World". What pisses me off more is that everyone loved it so hard like he was the second coming.

Everyone sweats Adam Lambert. But let's see how good his music is when everyone has to readjust the volume of the tracks of his album on iTunes because he's screaming the whole damn mammajammin' time. Ugh, I hate that.

Other than that, Adam is okay. And to be extremely fair, I really did enjoy his own personal song choice and performance of Aerosmith's "Crying". That's an example of where screaming makes sense and sounds good.

I hope Kris gets in though, because, at least, when he tinkers with other peeps' music, it actually sounds better. He also sang "Falling Slowly". Enough said. But for the record, also because I won't get tinnitus from listening to his music.